Live. Love. Laugh.
iamnotamisfit:

I am hotpockets

iamnotamisfit:

I am hotpockets

‎*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Me: Hello?
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.

i hate it when i say i hate everyone and then someones like ‘oh except me lol’ ha ha no not except you now you made it to the top of the list well done

Lmao

sojetlife:

tinychatter:

imagine reading a book of all the lies you’ve told

Imagine reading a book of all the lies that were told to you.
lovesdonuts:

∞

Pema Chödrön 

Pema Chödrön